I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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