Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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