you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
