You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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