Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
