you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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