He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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