dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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