Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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