32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
