If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
