You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
