To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
