I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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