I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
