Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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