I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
