break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
