Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
