Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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