I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
