Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we're making bets on your personal life
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
