I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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