opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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