You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
