Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
