On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the condom got lost in my hair
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
