It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
