Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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