just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
