no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
