So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
