I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
worst night to have a conscience
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
