Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I take back everything I said about communal showers
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The struggles of a small town man whore
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
