I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
