do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
