he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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