how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
