The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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