her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
