Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
