i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
