My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
