Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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