I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
