just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
