sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
