My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
