my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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