I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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