So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
