doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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