the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
