I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
