his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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