Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
